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The 7 Types of Haters

Humans love to hate.

It’s one of the things we do, right alongside asking questions, solving problems, and being wrong all the time.

Sure, our potential for love is just as, if not more, powerful. But you have to admit: there’s just something tantalizing about pure, unadulterated hatred.

It’s great because practically everyone is a hater of some kind. Each person’s life experience and set of values will create their very own unique hater recipe that you won’t find anywhere else. But there are some staples that I’ve recognized: these are the seven (most common) types of haters.

    The Pop Music Hater

This hater is always talking about how music “nowadays” is crap – even if they were born the equivalent of 5 seconds ago in the grand scheme of life on the planet. This hater will comment about how generic and over-produced popular music is, despite a usual lack of knowledge about the music industry in general or music production specifically.

Another common complaint of this type of hater is that mainstream musicians are de facto sellouts, and they will never get over the fact that Rihanna* became successful (because her music sounds good) or that Coldplay* changed their musical style (because they grew as individuals and artists). 

*substitute for any popular musician

2.     The Pop Culture Hater (aka the ‘Hipster’)

This hater is a sort of spin-off to the first kind, but their hatred is more far-reaching and extends to hating anything and everything that a lot of people like.

The Oscars? Garbage. The World Cup? Rubbish. Buzzfeed? The primary indication of humanity’s collective failure.

Choose your pick…if a lot of people like it, the pop culture hater will find it not just unappealing or uninteresting, but downright appalling. Again, it doesn’t occur to this person that the reason why lots of people like this particular thing is because…well…it’s interesting. And fun. It’s much more edifying to believe that they are in possession of some greater, more refined standards of taste than 90% of the general public.

gentleman

Another version of this kind of hater is the Literal Hipster hater, i.e. someone who hates hipsters. At this point, the whole point becomes so meta that it doesn’t even make sense for me to try to explain it. I have no choice but to turn things over to Stephen Fry:

Cynics are scared of emotion, scared of commitment, scared of sentiment, and so they snap and scoff and second-guess the motives of others. They are unaware that there is nothing so pretentious as seeing pretension in others.”

3.     The Religious Hater

Just as how “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet”, hate by any other name is still hate. Modern religious hatred is most commonly linked to groups like the Westboro Baptist Church and the ironically-named Love March Movement. Heresy and burning people at the stake may have gone out of fashion, but sex shall always be with us, and there will always be new and exciting ways to hate others because of their sexual choices.

But there’s still plenty religious haters out there who don’t fall under these stereotypical banners. They generally pick and choose particular texts from a particular holy book and use it to justify treating someone else like crap. Religious haters may coat their hatred with euphemisms such as “disagreement” or even sugarcoat it as “concern”, but the idea is still the same: I hate what you do, and I need you to know about it.

4.     The Irreligious Hater

Irreligious haters are especially fascinating because of their seeming religious-like fervor in denouncing religion. For an irreligious hater, religion is the source of almost all that is evil in the world. There is no middle ground, retreat or surrender.

Actually, of the seven types, this is the one group that will come right out and say they “HATE!” what they hate. Which is both endearing and terrifying.

5.     The Political Hater

Political haters really crawl out of the woodwork around times like now – election season. Or maybe they were always lurking in the background…they just finally have their fifteen minutes of fame every four or five years when everyone is talking about politics. The most extreme political haters will tell you how every problem faced by their country is the fault of one particular party and their ideology. Anyone who follows that party is stupid, ignorant or evil.

Amazingly, haters from both sides of opposing ideologies are able to do this, and it only solidifies their separate beliefs. It’s practically magic.

Less extreme political haters just hate on the government and politicians in general. If they’re really good at it, they may even get a television/radio show or newspaper column dedicated to their hate.

6.     The Woman Hater

The woman hater isn’t a woman who just happens to be extremely miserable all the time. It’s actually someone who hates women. As Mark Manson explains, it’s more of a love-hate relationship: the woman hater will put women and their attention on some sort of pedestal, then turn around and debase them at the drop of a hat.

Words like ho, bitch and slut are actually part of their normal vocabulary and they can say things like ‘alpha male’, ‘white knight’ and ‘mangina’ not just unironically, but with a completely straight face. The woman hater will randomly rant about how feminism is emasculating men or how contraceptives ruined society or how all women want is a man’s money/balls/soul.

To varying degrees, woman haters are unable to see women outside of their relationship and utility to them; women aren’t fully developed human beings with their own desires, fears, strengths and weakness…but objects to be studied, utilised, and ultimately “put in their place”.

7.     The Social Justice Hater

For some reason, these are generally the most annoying of all the haters – probably because they’re the newest kids on the block. Social justice haters throw around charged and potentially cruel aphorisms like “white privilege” and “male tears” with regularity and carelessness. They react to any form of critique of their positions with aggression and swift fury, and so make enemies more than they make changes.

Even when they’re totally right, their lack of tact and understanding makes it almost impossible to resist wanting to punch them in the face. (I’m looking at you militia-vegans.)

Social justice haters – like all the groups before them – are generally really passionate about making a difference and doing the right thing. It’s just that the overwhelming hate muddies the message and seriously cripples its effectiveness.

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What All Haters Have In Common

So far we’ve been looking at differences, but all haters actually have one thing in common. They have the uncanny ability to link the objects of their hatred to truly catastrophic events – like the deterioration of all humankind, or the end of our species as we know it. It’s not uncommon to hear haters say things like:

This entertainment is destroying the minds of future generations!

The gays are taking over!

Or my personal favourite, What is the world COMING TO?!?! 

It’s much easier to hate on something if you tell yourself that your hate isn’t just personal, but important for society and the world at large. But this is just a psychological defense mechanism…a smokescreen our brains have come up with and convinced us of so we don’t have to confront our own hatred.

The smokescreen is, of course, easily blown away.

No entertainer could be void of all talent, sit on their ass all day, and be worth millions. No religion could be stupid and pointless, but still have thousands of followers. And we are all, for better or worse, mainly products of our environment.

The world is getting remarkably better and better every day because humans are getting remarkably better and better every day. And the problems that do exist, are because of systems that we created and participate in. We are ALL the ‘problem’.

But screw logic!

Actually, no…logic is what keeps this rickety old structure in place. It’s the internal logic of the hater: this thing must be THAT bad, or else why would I hate it so much????? (Hint: it’s because we’re unhappy.)

See, haters are always convinced that what they hate is the problem, they never consider that the problem…could, simply, be them. Whether through human logic or divine decree, our hate is always justified.

hate

The first thing to remember is that all hate comes from within us. Seriously. It’s NOT the music, celebrities, religions, sinners, politicians, feminists or misogynists that’s the problem…the hatred is all coming from within you. You create it. You sustain it. And you have the power to eradicate it.

The second thing to remember is that knowledge is only the first step. Even if you can deprogram yourself out of being one of the seven types above, you’ll just move on to hating something else.

As far as I’ve seen (in my admittedly short life) the only way to stop hating is to become content enough to love instead.

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What’s your hater tally? Mine is 6 of 7; I’ve only managed to avoid being one kind of hater!!! :/

Are you a hater? Wait, why am I even asking that…of course you are. What do you hate on and is it worth it? Feel free to share below!

 

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